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I want to be completely transparent with you and explain why donations to my work and calling are greatly appreciated and absolutely necessary. -Flat out, I don't make much money for doing what I do.
That's the truth.
I'm a single mother of a teen daughter and have never been able to make enough to live independently on my own, and for that, I live with my dad. I've always been a hard worker, whether it was getting a 4.0 in high school with dyslexia or paying for my own Karate classes while I was also working at fast food joints when in school. I've been told by school counselors that my dreams were unrealistic because, at the time, I wanted to be a Karate instructor and own my own dojo or become a Japanese translator. Even then, my philosophy is to work hard for what you want and to dream as far as one's heart allows. I never believe anything is impossible if you put your heart into it and the work. I feel I've done that and continue to do that more each day with each goal I accomplish. However, that's still not enough to make monthly bills.
As the years went by, I felt defeated and ashamed, as if I'd been nothing short of a failure due to society's standards of what is considered "success," but all that changed in October 2022. That day was when my life changed all over again, and I witnessed my dad nearly die in my car; this was also the day I realized why the universe ensured I stayed with my dad. If I hadn't been living with him, he would've died alone, and for that, I'm grateful. It was at that moment when his heart stopped when everything in my stomach sank, I remembered how fragile life is and how much family truly means to me. Living with my dad has made all the difference in my life, and for that, I'm always grateful, but the second I felt as if my dad was gone, it was then I remembered how much I depended on and still depend on him, and it's just not fair to him.
I have been on YouTube since 2014 and have only reached 48K subscribers. Those that follow me will always have my deepest appreciation, but I know damn well YouTube has shadowbanned me, and for that, I've decided to create this post to share why I need your support. YouTube makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to grow; my fans have stated they've been unsubscribed from my channel and the membership without their knowledge. I doubt YouTube would admit to this, and I don't care if they do. If that wasn't unfair enough, YouTube takes 40% of the donations I get from my channel. However, this doesn't remove the universal balance I'm rightfully due. And for that, I've decided it's up to you to decide what you think I'm worth.
My dream and goal have always been to make enough money to care for my family, myself, and even my dad when he's too old to care for himself. I don't expect a lot, but I know without a doubt I've busted my ass for too damn long not to make enough for what I do. I create all of my YouTube videos; this includes recording, editing, researching, creating the thumbnails, publishing, etc. When I'm not creating content on my channel, I'm homeschooling my daughter full time as I don't trust the schools at this time. The way the world has become, I feel it's my parental responsibility to ensure that my daughter gets the best education in a safe environment, and it's just not safe in schools these days (let's keep it real, shit's gotten bad out there). Then, .. when I'm not doing that, I'm making tarot videos for my paid clients. This is the best part of my work because I get to take time to remember why I started my work in the first place. My heart always remains with the people and the connection to oneness and helping others from paranormal hauntings the best way I can. If that wasn't enough, I write my books as a self-published author.
Many folks think I am a self-published author because publishing houses won't take me, but the truth is, I've never applied to a publishing house, and I never will because I don't like people telling me what I can and cannot say. I'm not a sellout and refuse to give someone the power over my words and actions for a paycheck. So this is why I'm a self-published author, and I am proud to say that. The downside to this, however, is that this means I do everything that an entire team is expected to do. I write the material, edit the manuscripts and then create the book covers independently. Let's say, by the time I'm done writing a book, my eyes feel like they've split in half.
Even though this is so much work, and some people would say I'm crazy for doing all of this, the god honesty is I LOVE what I do, and I wouldn't and don't ever want to change it for anything else. My life has become enriched and has grown beyond my dreams than I could have ever expected. And it's because of you, my adoring fans and loyal followers, I continue to make my dream a daily pursuit.
So, after all of that, I decided to create my own pagan products to help those while also hoping it would help me and my family, but again, the fact is I don't sell that many products. Frankly, I'd be well off if I could sell my products daily, but that's not the reality. I'm lucky if I sell a few products a month, and I think it's also because some folks have complained about the shipping costs -I'm with you there. However, I cannot change the shipping costs due to the limitations of the funds I've spent after buying everything to create and produce the products. When all that is done, I lose money because people still think it's too expensive. My goal is to make enough money where I'll be able to sell my products at lower and reasonable prices.
At the end of the day, I've busted my ass only to make barely $260.00 per month on YouTube and maybe another $100 from book sales (if I'm lucky). I work so many hours and try so hard to be both a mom and dad (that's hard enough); not to forget, I'm left with no time to rest because I'm back to thinking about more content to create and coming up with ways to remain creative. In truth, I'm exhausted most days, but I still hustle because it's better than working for the jobs I've had in the past.
To help you get a visual, I've provided a receipt of what I made my previous month on YouTube. Each month I will upload a new image copy of my YouTube receipt so you will know the reality I'm facing. This is why I need donations. And to those who think I "live with my dad rent-free" -don't know shit. I've paid my dad more money than anyone in my family ever has, and I continue to do so because I know how much he's done to help me, and all I want to do,.. is to do the same for him in return.
Your donations are helping me and my family and allowing me a better chance at opportunities to continue improving my video content on YouTube. I want to start a Podcast someday and hopefully afford the proper equipment, but again that's something I dream of in the near future. The facts are presented, and it's up to you to decide what you think I'm worth. It doesn't matter to me if even you donated $1.00; the payments help in more ways than you will ever know. I cry most days because I work more than I get paid, and it's in this post that I'm showing you exactly what I mean. Lastly and most importantly, my bigger dream is to buy my own home and know that all of this was worth it. I want to look at my daughter, knowing I didn't make a huge mistake trying to live a dream that is beyond even the school counselor's imagination.
If you've taken the time to read this entire post, then you know where I'm coming from. I'm not trying to get a man like some gold digger, and I'm not about to sell myself on OnlyFans -I'm better than that. If YouTubers with millions of followers, who obviously make millions of dollars a year, can unashamedly ask for donations, why not me?
You're contribution, whether once or monthly, makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
with love and light... Melinda
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